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1) Blogs are bolocked in office.
2) The more proxys i use, the more anti-proxies are generated by the network group in my office.
3) Friends and Bloggers are not able to add comments in my Blog due to the stringent policy adopted by livejournal
4) I am accessing a web-mail and the domain is behind a firewall
and finally guys
5) am off to China again.God willing i'll be pulling off a client. so wont be blogging for two weeks( even if i do , i wont be regular).
6) ill be available in http://chronicwriter.blogspot.com/
and ill be in action in Orkut (16/7).. Orkut is blocked for 8 hours during working hours..
chronicwriter
- Location:oppice cubicle
- Mood:
content - Music:my mobile is ringing
- Location:oppice cubicle
- Mood:
contemplative - Music:whistling
This video is dedicated to my MBA friend IIT.
This incident happened in a bachelors party in cochin. The Rajagiri MBA guys(2004-2006) were having a great time. Suddenly IIT@ midhun started flexing his muscles and chriz tried a one hand stand. It resulted in a bad kick that blackened IIT's eye.watch this funny incident
IIT....Miss you hunney(am not gay)
CHRONICkickerWRITER
- Location:oppice cubicle(after a heavy lunch)
- Mood:
cranky - Music:magic painter
- Location:oppice cubicle
- Music:Don Moen- God is gud
1)Senior = My dad ( Am not gonna call myself junior. I'd rather call myself Senior II. It would be like king James I,II,II and so on....)
2)Mom = My mother( I would often refer to her as my first girlfriend. BTW her first boyfriend's name is David. David's son's name is Chriz ( That is me), and my first girl's name is Shobana)
Trivia:
Dad is a scientist and he is the GM of ISRO. They make some rockets and stuff. We have an In-House Osama at our place. Mom does not build homes. But she is a home maker.
3) Preetha and Johnny.( Preetha happens to be my Second girlfriend and she is also the first child of the Davids... Johnny married Preetha in 2003 and thus he became my Brother-in-LAW. Talking about law, i flunked in my law paper in my MBA).Preetha and Johhny are in Sunnyvale,California.BTW, Me and Preetha are siblings.
4)Jeremy David and Jolena Annika ( Do they sound like some Hollywood characters?... Hold on.. Jeremy is my Nephew and Jolena is his sister and so she becomes my niece).Jeremy will be three this september and Jolena will be three months this August.Did i tell you that Preetha and Johhny are the parents of these kids?
Trivia:
Jolena is my God child and so I am her God father ( Brando-Alpacino and Puzo!!!, plz bear wimme)
5) Andy,Varun,Joseph,Jithin,Aby ,Shiv,IITand My Kid-Dhanya.
Andy and Varun are my present room-mates and they are my colleagues also.Andy is a Process Analyst and Varun is an HRE.(BTW, I am a Business Analyst).Incidently Andy,Varun,Joseph,Jithin,Aby,Shiv and IIT were my MBA batchmates. and yeah! My kid-Dhanya is my sub-junior.
More characters will be included in due course of time. (These would include living creatures from my school days, engineering days, days in chennai/pondycherry/cochin/nagercoil/Tri
More to come....
Chronicwriter
- Location:oppice cubicle
- Mood: accomplished
- Music:Caedmons call- Into the hands of the potter
I have never been lucky in all my life.My stars did not shine as they were supposed to.. When i fell in love with Anna Kournikova , she fell for Enrique. I went without food for three days.Even i am not lucky when it comes to riding my bike. My splendor bike is an example and u'll understand what i am trying to convey, if u take a look at my bike.My biking skills reach its pinnacle when i ride it. The dis-oriented shape of my bike is a clear indication of my riding skills. But then man was never destined to be lucky. If that were true, he would have been a woman. Here are ten reasons why i call myself unlucky
1) I had my first love failure when i was in kindergarden when my then girlfriend,"Renu" went away with my kindergarden nemesis,"Shabir". (Apparently Renu is now happily married with Ashok and they have two kids)
2) Two weeks back,I was playing street cricket with some ten year old kids and this girl," shivani"(she is just 9 years), bowled me in the very first ball. My dreams of hitting sixes and fours vanished
3) When my friends Anto and Shiva copied in the class test, i was spanked by Mr.Arulanandham,(My mathematics teacher.)for not informing him, cos he saw me ogling at their copy-writing skills
4) I never had a girlfriend during my engineering days
5) My girlfriend during my MBA days ran away with her Boy friend.
6) I have scrapped Mr. Orkut, himself. But he never bothered to scrap me back. I guess he thought i was gay
7) My engineering room-mate, "Andrew"(name not changed cos of cruel intentions), used to sleep in my bed and i used to sleep in his bed.
8) I scored a centum in Tamil in my +2 Board exams.(100 out of 200)
9) My project was rejected in MBA.( I dun know why?)
10) If you are wondering why i added point number 7 in the unlucky list,I have to admit that Andrew had an habit of bed wetting.
This post is dedicated to Andrew.
-chronicwriter
- Location:oppice cubicle
- Mood:
crazy - Music:cocaine-clapton
Disclaimer: This post is really gross. Read with your nose closed!
With efficient family planning,India is soon catching up with China.The popluation is exploding like little boy and fat man and the effects would be drastic( my eighth sense tells me so). A socio-sensual guy like me( the letters UAL is added for the glamour effect. do not drift away) would ofcourse be thinking about the nation all the time.
My eighth sense was triggerred a week back when i went to Chennai to spend the weekend with my old church-mates. ( May 26th 2007-saturday-5 am) . " Oh girl-John Lennon started singing" ( I am referring to my ring tone). My friend Winfred Chelliah was on the other end (Winfred happens to be an old horse and he is MCC Chappel Choir master).
Win: Hello
Chriz: Yes
Win: Guess. Who is this!( Imagine someone saying this to you at 5 am)
Chriz: Dunno. I dun have the strength to guess
Win: Give a shot
Chriz: Usha Udhupth?
Win: Hey! am ur uncle da( i seriously do not like any one calling me DA)
Chriz: winfi?
Win: Yippeeeee( As if he had won the Golden Globe)
Chriz: Howideeeeee( My friend in college used to temme , that this kind of talk is used by the Yo -gen group)
Win: Doing good. Your dad told that you are in Chennai now
Chriz: Yes( i had other plans with my friends. i did not want him to fix any plans)
Win: There is a rock concert in YMCA grounds this evening. The strings would be good. Are you acoompanying me?
Chriz: ok! sure. me too going for the same this evening with my friends.
Soon it was evening. Four nuts got into the car, with the biggest nut on the wheel ( that is me). Soon we were in Ashok Pillar Signal. My sight got fixed on the four lions sitting back to back. MY eighth sense started working.
My thoughts went on a whirlwind( India-population explosion-India shining-wings of fire-mahatma gandhi-abdul kalam-rajaram mohan roy-sati-sania mirza-veerapaandiya katta bomman).And finally when the whirlwind stopped, i had the answer to the biggest ever question that is rackling everyone.
The biggest ever question:
At the current rate of population explosion, India would be filled with 200 crore people by 2012.
With the current toilet manufacturing rate which is 2 toilet/machine/day, the country would not have enough toilets to acommodate 200 crore bum's in times of crisis.
The Biggest ever answer
Applying rules of correlation and regression, only 185 crores of bums can be accomodated by the available resources at a single Go. So if four lions can sit back to back , Why can't four human beings do the same thing?
But care should be taken during the post-deposit-process.
-Chronic(saver)writer
- Location:oppice cubicle
- Mood:
blah - Music:she's gotta ticket to ride-beatles
Do you dream? or atleast have you saved anyone in your life? If not ,this inspirational story of mine would change ur life for ever.
I had my first dream when i was just two months old. I used to dream about Israel-Palestine peace talks and also about world peace. I was so worried about the humanitarianism that even in my dream i used to strive hard for a green world. My heart used to be so heavy during such dreams that i used to cry non-stop. My parents had a tough time taking care of their two month old son who was busy dreaming about world peace. I even used to wet my bed during such dreams ( The concept of wet dreams evolved from one such incident). I even used to wet my bed when i grew up. The burden for the society was of such high degree.
As days flew by, i became a dreamer and my dreams gained expertise and i started dreaming about botechnology, sociology, genetic science, archeology, business administration and before long i celebrated my first birthday. The burden in my heart was so much that i did not even have enough power to blow the candles in my birthday cake. My mother helped her genius son( that is me) in blowing the candles.
Days went by and i was in School. I was in kindergarden. My dreams had a disastrous effect because of a girl called Renu. She was also so much concerned about the society , cos she always cried in class. What a pair, we made! She cried during the day time and i cried in my sleep.
She had lovely blue eyes and a pint size nose that oozed out Phlegm cos her nostrils did not have a stopper. Her lips were like those sugar coated strawberries( Now! Don't u go into a dreamworld! she is mine!!).She was taller than me though. But does size matter? Her hair was as soft like the brush we used to clean our toilet. ( Am i describing her in a obscene manner? Glad that we did not have any sexual harassment policies in kindergarden)
Every love story should have a villain. In our case, the villain came in the form of Shabir. He was the hero of the class because he was the only one who can chew a chewing gum without swallowing it. The girls were amazed at his wonderful chewing gum-chewing abilities. He used to defeat me round and square in academics also. My vocabulary was so limited then. according to me A was apple. But Shabir used to confuse everyone saying that A was for air-plane. When we were using chalk pieces and black slate boards for writing , he was the first one to use a note book and a pencil. To cope up with the ever increasing competition, i bought my first note book and pencil. I never knew how to hold a pencil. But who cares , cos now i had half the class's attention. Shabir could not take it any longer. He grasped my pencil and broke it into two pieces. Such actions were considered to be an act of bravery. Renu fell in instant love with him. I could not take it any longer. I started screaming at the top of my voice. My class teacher( on whom i developed an affection at a later point of time) rushed to the scene and instead of punishing him , she started thrashing my bum( cos possession of pencil in kindergarden was treated as a crime under the POTA kindergarden Act).Renu started avoiding me.
That night i had a dream.
The whole school caught fire because of a cosmic explosion planned by Iraq and Iran. I started weeping cos i can see Renu caught between the flames. I ran as fast as my little feet could carry me and before long i was standing in front of the class. I opened the door with one powerful kick and searched for a fire extinguisher. But i could not find one in the near by surroundings. That night before hitting bed i drank lots of water and as the water tank was full, i decided to save my Renu by extinguishing the fire using the only resource available at that time. I did not give a second thought and with in seconds, I was performing the extinguishing act. Suddenly some one hit me hard on my back and i woke up to see my angry dad, closing the refrigerator with parting words “ stop peeing in the refrigerator”
-Chronicwriter
- Location:oppice cubicle
- Music:dreamer-ossie
I first flunked in an exam when i was in class three.
Then it became an habit.
Cleared my engineering with a great base and the same effect had its implications on my MBA too.
Even at work i am kicked left right and centre when ever i fumble with presentations.
and when i thought it was THE END;I came across this Quote.
" I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career.
I've lost almost 300 games
I've been trusted to take the game winning shot 26 times and i missed
I've failed again and again in my life and
That is why i Succeed."
- Michael Jordan
Now i have a reason to fail.
Jokes apart!, it is indeed inspiring.
- Location:oppice cubicle
- Mood:
chipper - Music:goodbye my lover-james blunt
Who is Jammy?
He is 165 cms tall.
He is Tamil, but has a Mallu connection.
He is extremely Funny.
Hold on.... I am not blowing my own trumpet.
I am talking about Jamshed Velayuda Rajan ... Big characters come in small packages. He is India's second most funniest blogger.
Chronicwriter wishes Jammy to become India's funniest blogger so that i can fill his shoes and become the second funniest blogger. My shoe size is 8. I guess i can fill in ur shoes JAMMY! I do not mind even if it stinks, cos i am wearing mine for the past 17 years without socks..
- Chronicwisher
- Location:oppice cubicle
- Mood: mischievous
- Music:Bachelor Boy-Cliff
I think when i wink
- Robert Clive.
DISCLAIMER: All the information provided here are true to the best of my LITTLE knowledge. Any resemblance to any creature alive or dead is done with a purpose
Robert Clive winked at an Indian Babe in the post independance era . The local public were enraged by such an act and so they bashed him up and took him to the great freedom fighter Shri . Jai Manohar Kolkatta ,who happened to be the local panchayat head at that time and when Robert Clive was asked whether he had anything to say before his last breath, he uttered these words," I think when i wink".
These words entered the history books basically because of two reasons
1. Robert Clive escaped from being stoned to death
2. The City of calcutta was renamed as Kolkatta.
Jai Manohar Kolkatta incidently happens to be the greatest ever Independance hero the country has ever produced. Legend has its history that he was a martial arts exponent and was also the founder of the martial art form of Kung-Fu. But all his exploits were not published. The only book that has all the details about Kolkatta was discovered by my pet dog, "Bubbly", on 24-02-2004 in my back yard.
Flashback to 24-02-2004.
As Bubbly has a very good appetite unlike his master( his master happens to be me), he eats at will. As Bubbly is a very good eater, nature calls him pretty often. And when ever nature calls him, Bubbly runs to the backyard and squarts like a true warrior and stands like Jackie Chan and performs the metabolic activity. The expression in Bubbly's face during his metabolic activity is almost similar to the expression that Kate Winslet gives in the movie, "Titanic" when ever she sees the man she is engaged to.The post- activity effort to cover-up the treasure is indeed a sight to see. Bubbly has this unique god given gift of covering point B when actually point A needs to be covered.
On that historic day, my pet dog Bubbly was performing his usual covering up act in the backyard of my house. As he ate a lot that day, he had to do extra work for the covering up act;in the process he accidently dug a 14.23 feet long hole. Suddenly he stopped his covering up activity and started barking in C minor scale. That peculiar bark was a warning sound for his master(once again am reminding u all that I am his master). I ran to the backyard and what i saw really left me speechless. Bubbly had this book in his mouth. I took the book from Bubbly and started reading it. The book had lots of controversies hidden in it. I had tears in my eyes. I turned around and saw Bubbly crying too. I wiped his tears with my hands and Bubbly tried wiping my tears with his paws,but i did not allow him to do so, cos he did not do the covering act properly and he still had some traces of metabolic output stuck to his paws..
I winked at him and he winked at me...
-chronicwinker
- Location:oppice cubicle
- Mood:
bouncy - Music:Lobo - I'd love you to want me
Onam 2004..
My first ever Onam.
My first ever mundu experience.(Mundu is the malayalam word for Dhotee)
My first malayalam movie.
All happened on the same day..
I used to stay in the Men's Hostel(Yea my orientations are straight).I was doing my first year MBA in Rajagiri School of management, Cochin. The culture was so different. A language so alien to me. If not for the babes in my colege, i would not have stayed there.
The day started as usual..
My alarm woke me up at 8 am..
I switched it off..
My roomie kicked me outta de bed.. Poor bum of mine... (Joseph! damn ur left leg)..
Having full faith in my roomie, i allowed him to tie the knot around my waist.. i mean the mundu.. It was funny fer me cos i was thinking what wud happen if the mundu fell down...The belt really gave me enuff confidence... oooh! it was so damn nice to wear a mundu and walk around..
The whole day went in a gala mood..
pookalam, vadam pulling, chakki and changaran.. and lotta games.. me had fun..
And little did i know that the real fun was still to come.. and it was around three pm and me started my long walk back to the hostel..(the long uphill road to the boy's hostel from college was indeed very steep).. the sun was beaming in full confidence.. Suddenly I understood that my hip and the belt had a bilateral conflict and before i realised, i was walking without the mundu..
Gud that i had a long kurta.. i turned around and to my horror saw a bunch of senior babes walking behind me..waat can i do? i closed my eyes and ran inside the hostel... and all i heard was giggling sound that soon erupted into laughter... then a thought stuck me.. ournational leaders have gone thru sufferings worser than this.. and i boldly came out of the hostel,still in the same outfit only to find the engineering college bus zooming past the boy's hostel. All the babes in the bus saw me very clearly.
Well they say! great men have to go through struggles and trials..
The day ended and the night took over.. My friends tuk me out fer a movie..my first malayalam movie.." perumalai kaalam".. dint understand a word though.. it ended up to be a sentimental film.. two hours went by.i dint understand a single word.. suddenly the whole theatre was calm.i turned to my right.tears in my friend's eyes.i turned to my left.. tears again.i realised it was an emotional seen.me too tried crying.. but ended up burping... and the guy in front of me started shouting therees ( Therees are malayalam blessings told in a stern voice) at me.. My friends came to my rescue..
The night ended too and Onam was over. I dunno how to end this one..
THE END! ( is this ok?)
-chronicwriter
- Location:oppice cubicle
- Music:Some one from the adjacent cubicle farted very loudly.. All of us are giggling
If u have not experienced any natural disaster in ur life so far, then i wud say that when u finish reading the following article, u wud have experienced the troubles and tribulations of experiencing a natural disaster.
This is a real incident that happened to me last night.
The pressure that my mind was captivated with, last night was unbearable. The struggle i went through last night was almost similar to the holocaust suffereings that the jews suffered at the hands of Hitler during the second world war. I have never been in a similar situation in all my life. As i entered office early yesterday morning, i knew that i was going to have a long day. When i switched on my computer and logged onto my lotus notes i saw a huge junk of mails in my inbox. I patiently went through all the Good morning mails. Some brilliant soul( am not mentioning her name, to avoid a third world war) even forwarded a happy new year mail. After that i had some meetings and it went on and on and on.... Finally when the meetings got over , it was well past evening. My wrist watch showed that the time was 6 pm. Then i realised that i did not have much time in my hands. I still had lot of work to be completed. But time is running out of my hands. My cerebellum and medula oblangata had a bilateral conflict. My head started spinning.My eyes turned red . My heart started beating fast and i started sweating.
I was profusely sweating in a centralised A/C environment and i was astonished to see myself sweating in such a cool environment, my thoughts took me back to my past and i remembered what my benchmate in college,"Reena"(name is not changed purposefully) once told me . If i am not wrong, she was wearing a blue spaghetti on that cold monday morning.She came very close to me and whispered into my ear,"Chriz! You are sooo HOtttttt ". Yea , i had fever that day and i was shocked to realise how she found that i was running a high temperature. I was innocent at that time also. I asked her How she found that i was Hot. She told that I would understand the INNER meaning later in my life. After eight years i realised the INNER meaning yesterday, the reason for my profuse sweating.Yae... I am HOtttttt.
When i came back to the present world tracing back from the flashback, i realised it was well past seven.Tsunamis and valcanos erupted from with in. My fingers became numb. I felt a shiver down my spine. My adams apple went up and down. ( By the way instead of an apple , if a coconut had fallen on Newton's head we would not have known what gravitation is all about. we would have just come to the conclusion that the earth sucks). Ok lemme come back to last night. My wrist watch indicated that the time was7.45 pm. I had to act fast. I removed my tie. switched off my computer, took my mobile phone and bike keys and rushed to the bike stand and started kicking my bike.My bike is a lovely bike. It likes getting kicked . It would not start unless i kick it atleast ten times. But then finally when it starts, the smoke it emits is just like the PSLV and GSLV launch machines which zoom into the sky emitting nitrogen gases.. Luckily no one was behInd the silencer when i started the bike. I reached home in five minutes. My wrist watch showed that the time was 7.53. I knew that i did not have much time left.
I went to the wash room and took a quick long shower. The post shower prepearations were hectic with heavy layering of perfumes and finally i opened my cupboard and took out the newly bought yellow sleeveless Reebok tops that i bought especially for the occassion.I spent sometime infront of the mirror and the result was an handsome reflection. I knew i was ready . My heart beats were racing to new heights that even schumi and barichello could not dream of achieving it on the circuit( No wonder Schumi retired from the internation scene. reuben will follow suit i guess). My wrist watch indicated that the time was 8 pm. I was waiting for this moment for one full day. I went and sat infront of the TV. I switched it ON.
Tuned the channel to Sony SetMax . India was going take on Nedherlands for their pre world cup preparations. They called it warm-up matches. i thought to myself, " An HOttttt guy watching WARM-up matches.... what a co-incidence".. But who cares about the warm-up match. Anyways India is gonna thrash the orange boys. As i looked intensively into the screen, i had to bear the brunt of viewing unnecessary advertisements. And finally around 8.05 pm the moment i was waiting for finally arrived.. " FOURTH INNINGS"... and the camera zoomed in and yeaaaaaaaaaa! , there she was sitting and smiling and what a similarity... She was also wearing an yellow tubetop. Mandira was HOttttt... Dunno if u wud believe it or not, but i am very sure that Mandira did not even take her eyes off me for even a single second. I knew that she was truly madly deeply in love with me. But family constraints, cultures, values, ethics calmed me down.
Next match is coming up tonyte. I am planning to wear my orange sleeveless tops. Watch out for Mandira. She would also be in Orange. You would then believe me why they say that i am HOtttttt..
Chronic
- Location:oppice cubicle
- Mood:
high - Music:pogadhey
Husband = man
Wife = woman
Disclaimer :The following article proves the above two equations wrong. Those who are sure about their gender can continue reading...
Long Long ago , so long ago, when i was in class three, i attempted to master the art of copying in exams. As u all know that i was very innocent, i did not have the efficacy to carry out a malpractice successfully. I was caught by my biology teacher and she made me kneel down in front of the so called hot babes in my class. I still remember that day when Renu,Minu,sheena,reba,shyla, mahima,esther, ruth, mary and meena laughed at me. That was when i thought of taking revenge on my biology teacher.
Days flew by
and soon i was in Class eight:.
The same biOlogy teacher became my class teacher. Finally i got a chance for me to take revenge on her. The pain she took to teach us the GENDER differences urged me to ask more doubts( i was very innocent, u see). She managed her level best to clear most of my doubts,which inturn would provoke me ask serious innocent doubts. But just when i start thinking that i had the last laugh she will ask me a tricky question and i would finally end up kneeling down.The laughing and giggling from girls side will start as usual. I guess they were madly in love with me.
Days flew by
And today i ended up making the discovery of the century.!! i dunno if " the Noble prize academy" would recognise my discovery and award me the noble prize for works in english and biology. If you are thinking what my discovery is, i am not gonna confuse u any further. I'll go into the matter straight.
My discovery
I opened a word document and typed the word wife. and out of curiosity, i checked the synonyms for the word WIFE. I have attached the answer here..
If u have any doubts , check it out.The meaning for the word wife, is husband.
Either Bill Gates is wrong or my Biology teacher is wrong ( I have finally taken revenge on her)
I do not mind even if one among the two is right, cos in both cases i will end up as the winner.(Renu,Minu,sheena,reba,shyla, mahima,esther, ruth, mary and meena... all u girls can laugh now)
will i get the Nobel prize
?-Chronicnoblerwriter
- Location:cubicle,office
- Mood:
creative - Music:sound of keyboard
